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The BeHappy! Newsletter, Issue #022
October 19, 2012
Relationships, PART ONE (of a 3-Part Series)
If you’re one of the hundreds of new daily visitors to BeHappy101.com or a new subscriber to this BeHappy! Newsletter... welcome aboard!
I’m Jimmy, and my mission is to improve your life dramatically by making it a bit happier - or, better yet, a lot happier - everyday.
I am a doctor, corporate executive, entrepreneur, author, and speaker. My wife (Jill), our six-year-old daughter (Joie), and our soon-to-be-three-year-old daughter (Jae) live in Tampa Florida and Newport Beach California.
Through this newsletter, my website, my books, E-Coaching, and other BeHappy! products, I am committed to improving the lives of as many people as possible. So, I would love to hear from you on how your life has changed by using the BeHappy! system, or how I can help improve your life more by making the system even better. Just click here to contact me and I’ll respond to you personally as soon as possible – or just give me your happiness tips, comments, suggestions, stories, or thoughts to share with others.
Here’s to your happiness and to having the kind of life you want to have!
BeHappy! my friends
INTRODUCTION for new subscribers (prior subscribers – skip down to the “Happiness Facts” section)
The purpose of this newsletter is to provide a regular and consistent supplement to the action-oriented process found within my website - www.behappy101.com - and in my book, BeHappy!
It is intended to make a powerful contribution to the amount of joy and fulfillment in your daily life by providing regular tools, reminders, and strategies to:
Since my goal is to help make people happier, however, it is best to get the book, BeHappy! to use along with the website to achieve maximum benefit from the plan (yes, that’s partly a sales pitch — but it’s true).
Follow Up from the Last Edition of
The BeHappy! Newsletter
So, if you do have your definition, congratulations. You’ve started your journey the right way. If you haven’t yet written down your Definition of Happiness, however, do it now. Don’t go any further without it. It will make a huge difference in the quality of your life.
Click here if you need help with it.
What about your goals and expectations for the future? Have you also written these down? Do you have positive expectations for the future and some solid, compelling goals for the next year, the next 5 years, the next 20 years, and for the rest of your life?
Again, go back and work on these things if you haven’t done it yet. It’s critical to the quality of your life.
You can read more about setting goals by clicking here.
Now, on to the topic for this edition of The BeHappy! Newsletter...
Relationships - Part One
The Basics of a "Happy Relationship"
My former business partner, Tony Robbins, has always said, “the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships”.
Most people wouldn’t argue too much with that statement. And, while great relationships don’t guarantee total life happiness (since nothing in life does) our relationships can have a huge influence on our emotions, sense of fulfillment, passion, and overall satisfaction with life.
The "Secret" to Having Great Relationships
There is actually a “secret” to having excellent relationships – whether it’s an intimate, romantic, one-on-one relationship (like marriage, for example), the relationship with your family (your parents, children, and siblings), your friendships, and your business relationships.
Here’s the secret...
Are you ready?
Yes, the best relationships are, first, developed and then are able to thrive when you are happy. Research shows that the best relationships - including the best marriages and even the best sexual relationships - occur when the people in the relationship are happy (and it’s even better when the people involved are about equal in their level of happiness).
The "Happiness Loop" Concept
I realize that doesn’t seem too profound, but it’s true. Relationships are part of what I call a “Happiness Loop”, as summarized graphically in the diagram here:
What this means is that, yes, it's true that the “traditional” thinking that better, more fulfilling relationships make for a happier life, but what’s even more powerful is the fact that a happier life makes for better, more fulfilling relationships (and more passionate relationships if it's a romantic relationship). And, if you are looking for that perfect person for you – perhaps even your “soul mate” – being happy can even determine whether or not you end up finding that "right" person for you.
It's a "loop" that feeds upon itself to create the best possible relationships and the happiest possible life.
So that’s the main message for this first part of the three-part "relationship series" here at The BeHappy! Newsletter. It's basically that you must BE HAPPY if you want to have the best relationships (of all kinds). Hopefully that's not a let-down to you since it's so basic - and almost seemingly not related directly to the topic of relationships.
First, though, we'll be dealing with the more direct relationship issues in the next few editions of the newsletter (like dating, sex, friendship and family strategies). But just as important is the fact that this concept it is the foundation to what we'll be building over the next few months in this "relationship series" and is a critical first step for the “process” we’ll go through. Because, if you’re not a “happy person” overall, then you will very likely not have the best possible relationships, no matter what you do – and again, this means all types of relationships, not just romantic love relationships. You can’t expect to have (or find) great relationships (of any type) if you are an unhappy, negative person and so you can’t expect a great relationship to be the means for you to become a happy, positive person.
If you’re an unhappy or negative person and are lucky enough to have a great relationship already, it could possibly help you be happier (because of the "loop"), but it can only go so far. In addition, that relationship is not likely to last long-term. And, again, it is doubtful that you’ll have many great relationships if you are not happy first.
So, while it is partly true that "the quality of your relationships is the quality of your life", as Tony Robbins says, the way I see it is that it is also that, "the quality of your relationships is determined initially by your level of true happiness".
The “action” section below will get more into it, but if you want more help with this concept, go to BeHappy101.com, get the book, BeHappy!, or take advantage of my free coaching plan by clicking here and I'll help you personally to get started on a plan to make happiness a "habit".
So, now it’s time to take action toward addressing this first step in the “relationship” process for the next 60 days.
BeHappy! ACTIONS TO TAKE UNTIL THE NEXT ISSUE OF THIS NEWSLETTER
Like everything in life, the old saying, “practice makes perfect” applies to happiness, too. By using the tools and concepts in the book, BeHappy! - and applying the principles found at BeHappy101.com and in this bi-monthly newsletter - you'll get the coaching and the “practice” you need to lead the happiest possible life.
It takes daily action to get “perfect” at it, though.
So, if you have read previous editions of The BeHappy! Newsletter you know that every issue provides some simple action-oriented exercises for the next two months (until the next edition of the newsletter) which relate to the main subject of this edition of the newsletter to help make happiness a habit.
Just a few minutes of focus every day and you’ll be laying the foundation for the happiest possible life - both for yourself and for those you love.
If you do these things, I can promise you’ll notice a big difference in the quality of your life.
You will BeHappy!
Actions for the next 60 days:
Take these actions over the next sixty days and by the time you receive the next edition of the BeHappy! Newsletter (around mid-December), you should be on a path to better, more fulfilling relationships (of all kinds). Also, since the next edition of the newsletter is right during the holiday season, there will also be some “holiday happiness” tips there, too.
Actions to Take:
As a start to this “relationship series” here at The BeHappy! Newsletter, it is important to assess your current “relationship status”. In other words, how would you rate your current, most important relationships? If you are in a significant one-on-one relationship (like a marriage, for example), is it loving, passionate, fulfilling, and fun? Or, is it dull, stressful, argumentative, and boring? What about other relationships – like those with your family, friends, and work associates? Are they providing you support, joy, and life satisfaction or are they strained, difficult, and unfulfilling?
Take a few moments, or whatever time it takes, to think about this – and then write down your results. Here’s what to do:
Put two vertical lines down a piece of paper as shown in the diagram here:
Now, as shown in the second picture, fill out the “columns” as shown, first by listing the most important relationships in your life in the left column.
Then, in the middle column, next to the name of the person or people in column 1, write down the overall quality of that relationship. You can put down a word or two – like “good”, “excellent”, “could be better”, “not good” or “toxic” – or if you prefer, you can just put a number between “1” and “10”, where “1” is “toxic” and “10” is “awesome” or “perfect”. Use whatever you prefer. The point is to make this meaningful to you, because we’ll be using this “relationship assessment” as a basis throughout this series over the next few months.
There’s an example of how it could look in the third graphic to the right.
So, if you want better relationships in your life, take this first action step now. Spend the next 60 days thinking about your connection with other people – especially those who are most important to your life, and your happiness!
Most importantly, as mentioned previously, the critical first step toward having the best relationships possible – of all kinds – is to Be Happy. So, as another action step for the next 60 days, do whatever you need to do to be happier in life.
Explore BeHappy101.com fully. Use the tools and strategies there to make yourself happier. And, if some of the people on your “relationship list” are not as happy as possible (and especially if your relationship with them is not as good as you would like) then help them to be happier, too. Send them a link to BeHappy101.com. Get them the book, BeHappy! Then, in the New Year, you’ll be able to enroll yourself (and anyone else) in The Happiness Academy, where anyone can learn to live their happiest possible life.
WHAT'S NEW AT BeHappy101.com:
Every issue of this newsletter will keep you up to date on new stuff at BeHappy101.com so you can get maximum benefit from the BeHappy! system. You can access any of these quickly by just clicking on the links in the list below.
Here's what's new at BeHappy101.com:
So until the next edition of The BeHappy! Newsletter around the middle of December...
Thanks for being a loyal subscriber and...
BeHappy! my friends
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