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The BeHappy! Newsletter, Issue #024
February 24, 2013
Relationships, PART THREE (of a 3-Part Series):
Managing and Improving ALL Your Relationships
If you’re one of the hundreds of new daily visitors to BeHappy101.com or a new subscriber to this BeHappy! Newsletter... welcome aboard!
I’m Jimmy, and my mission is to improve your life dramatically by making it a bit happier - or, better yet, a lot happier - everyday.
I am a doctor, corporate executive, entrepreneur, author, and speaker. My wife (Jill), our six-year-old daughter (Joie), and our three-year-old daughter (Jae) live in Tampa Florida and Newport Beach California.
Through this newsletter, my website, my books, E-Coaching, and other BeHappy! products, I am committed to improving the lives of as many people as possible. So, I would love to hear from you on how your life has changed by using the BeHappy! system, or how I can help improve your life more by making the system even better. Just click here to contact me and I’ll respond to you personally as soon as possible – or just give me your happiness tips, comments, suggestions, stories, or thoughts to share with others.
Here’s to your happiness and to having the kind of life you want to have!
BeHappy! my friends
INTRODUCTION for new subscribers
(prior subscribers – skip down to the “Happiness Facts” section)
The purpose of this newsletter is to provide a regular and consistent supplement to the action-oriented process found within my website - www.behappy101.com - and in my book, BeHappy!
It is intended to make a powerful contribution to the amount of joy and fulfillment in your daily life by providing regular tools, reminders, and strategies to:
Since my goal is to help make people happier, however, it is best to get the book, BeHappy! to use along with the website to achieve maximum benefit from the plan (yes, that’s partly a sales pitch — but it’s true).
Follow Up from the Last Edition of
The BeHappy! Newsletter
The December edition of The BeHappy! Newsletter was Part 2 of this “mini-series” on relationships, focusing on marriage, which is one of the most important relationships two people can create.
If you are married, or in a serious relationship with someone you will likely marry someday, how did the exercises go from the December issue of the newsletter? Did you analyze your rules and those of your spouse or significant other? Did you discuss the differences between your rules and look for ways to reduce or minimize your conflicting rules? Did you make a new commitment in your relationship? What about your sex life? If it’s great, did you create a plan to make it even better? If it’s not so great, did you get “aggressive” and make a plan to improve it.
Remember, marriage is one of the most intimate, beautiful, fulfilling relationships in life – so make it outstanding by evaluating your rules (and changing them if necessary), improving your sex life and re-committing your life to your spouse.
Now, on to the topic for this edition of The BeHappy! Newsletter...
Relationships - Part Three
Managing and Improving All Your Relationships
Most people would not disagree with that statement. Think about it. If you have a passionate, loving, fulfilling marriage, lots of great friends, a close-nit, supportive family, and many solid business relationships, life is probably pretty good – regardless of the circumstances. On the other hand, if you have a distant, stressed, antagonistic marriage, no close friends, a family that doesn’t get along, and business associates you don’t like or trust, life can be pretty miserable – even if other areas of your life are good.
We can pretend our nice houses, fast cars, expensive wardrobes, and thriving careers are enough, but when we’re alone at home being honest about it, it’s just not enough. Positive, loving, close, fulfilling human interaction – on a regular basis – is essential to living the happiest possible life.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying here that money, wealth, success, and even fame cannot make us happy. They are like everything in life – they can help. But nothing is absolute – including relationships. Life is complicated. Also, your personal Definition of Happiness is a big determining factor in your overall happiness (and in your relationship success and fulfillment).
The 3 fundamental essentials for relationship “success” of any kind are:
The happiness loop discussed in the October issue of this newsletter is the fundamental concept here. In other words, a happy outlook (and being truly happy) helps find and create better relationships.
With an intimate, one-on-one relationship, for example, it is much more likely to last long-term if you are both happy and, if you aren’t already in such a relationship, you are more likely to find the right person in the first place – perhaps even your soul mate - if you are a happy, positive person. In a family situation, happiness makes personal connections closer and kids more enthusiastic and principled. Even business relationships and your job satisfaction are improved by being happy.
So be playful and care-free. Life is so much better when we are excited and passionate – and relationships are so much better, too. Use “The Happiness Formula” I created as a start.
For a relationship to be truly successful (and ultimately fulfilling), it is critical for you to be a “giver” rather than a “taker”. This is certainly true in a one-on-one intimate connection (like marriage), but it’s also true in all types of relationships – like friendships, family relationships, and even business associations.
Contributing to the life of the other person – or the other people – in your life will cause your relationships to flourish. In fact, even if the other person in the relationship is not a “giver” – you still need to “give” if you want the relationship to survive. Not only does this fulfill the “contribution” component of my “Happiness Formula”, it also will generally cause the other person in the relationship to start giving, too, over time.
Just as described in Part 2 of this series about marriage (the December issue) – our rules can destroy any of our relationships. If your rules are very different from the people you are in a relationship with – and especially if those rules are very strict rules – you will definitely experience conflict, probably serious conflict, with many people, and your relationships will suffer. So, if this is an issue for you, it is critical that you change your rules.
I realize this may seem overly simplistic, but it’s really the way it is. The concepts are basically the same for all types of relationships.
If you are happy... your friendships, family relationships, business associations, marriage, and the relationships with your children will be better.
If you are a “giver”... to your friends, spouse, family members, children, and business associates, these relationships will all be better.
And, if you reduce the number of rules in your life... and make the rules you keep much less strict (make them guidelines, for example) – then your marriage, friendships, business relationships, and the relationships with your children will be better.
These are the keys to great relationships in your life. It’s really pretty simple - but not always easy. If you can master it, though, everything will be so much better since your relationships will help fuel life’s many “happiness loops” (financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual).
So, now it’s time to take action to help improve your relationships. Even if they are already great, there may be some things you can do to make them even better.
BeHappy! ACTIONS TO TAKE UNTIL THE NEXT ISSUE OF THIS NEWSLETTER
Like everything in life, the old saying, “practice makes perfect” applies to happiness, too. By using the tools and concepts in the book, BeHappy! - and applying the principles found at BeHappy101.com and in this bi-monthly newsletter - you'll get the coaching and the “practice” you need to lead the happiest possible life.
It takes daily action to get “perfect” at it, though.
So, if you have read previous editions of The BeHappy! Newsletter you know that every issue provides some simple action-oriented exercises for the next two months (until the next edition of the newsletter) which relate to the main subject of this edition of the newsletter to help make happiness a habit.
Just a few minutes of focus every day and you’ll be laying the foundation for the happiest possible life - both for yourself and for those you love.
If you do these things, I can promise you’ll notice a big difference in the quality of your life.
You will BeHappy!
Actions for the next 60 days:
Take these actions over the next sixty days and by the time you receive the next edition of the BeHappy! Newsletter (in April), you will notice a significant improvement in your relationships – and your life.
Actions to Take:
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