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Holiday Happiness

There are many expectations and obligations to meet, parties to attend, and gifts to buy (which means financial pressure for many people). Then there’s all the eating and drinking, and for some, the holidays means traveling as well.

Because of this, I created a "holiday happiness" series, which is intended to make this time of year a bit less stressed and get us all through the hectic holiday season easier and happier.

Since this is a "series", what I thought I would do in this edition of the BeHappy! newsletter is provide the first part of the series (Part 1 of the 6-Part series), which looks at the holidays from a "big picture" perspective so that you can view the holidays as fun and fulfilling, rather than stressful and "depressing".

This is an essential component of the process since the "details" associated with the holiday season can be “overwhelming” - if overwhelm is part of your vocabulary (see the transformational vocabulary section of BeHappy101.com for one great way to reduce stress and anxiety during the holidays - and anytime of the year).

Next, it’s important to assess our individual needs, desires, and influences as related to creating the best holiday season possible. To do that, we’ll start with two basic questions everyone should answer at this time of year:

1. What makes the holidays stressful, difficult, and/or “unhappy”?

2. What do I – or could I – love about the holidays?

If you answer these two questions honestly for yourself, you will have a great start to making this holiday season very happy and joyous. That’s because, with the answers to these two questions, we can better understand the specific issues which represent pain and pleasure for us during the holiday season and then more easily create a plan to address them (which will be partly the subject of the next part of this series).

So, spend a few minutes right now answering those two questions. Take whatever time you need. Be specific. Then come back and finish this article with the answers in hand.

OK, you’ve answered the questions, right? If not, don’t go on until you do.

The most common answers I’ve gotten to those two questions are:

Question #1 (What makes the holidays stressful, difficult, and/or “unhappy”?):

• Too many expectations and obligations
• It’s gotten too commercial
• The true meaning has been lost
• It's too expensive
• There are too many people to please
• The shopping malls and stores get too crazy
• There are too many parties to attend
• I eat too much
• I gain weight
• I drink too much
• I’m alone
• I work during the holidays
• My[family member, friend, spouse] is gone and I miss them even more

Question #2 (What do I – or could I – love about the holidays?):

• The opportunity to connect with friends and family
• The chance to brighten people’s life by giving
• Remembering the meaning of the season
• Connection with family and friends
• Great memories from childhood
• The food (turkey and stuffing, pies, etc.)
• The shopping
• The parties
• Getting some great gifts
• Going to church, the synagogue, etc.
• Christmas carols
• Time off from work
• The weather at this time of year
• The chance to reflect on what life is all about
• The holiday lights

Did you come up with some others?

Was your “negative” list (the answers to the first question) longer than the “positive” list (the answers to the second question)? Or was the positive list longer?

Whichever it is, over the next week it’s important to think about these answers – and use them to create a “Holiday Happiness Plan” for yourself (see below) which expands the positives and minimizes the negatives.

For now, just notice some of the feelings and emotions you experience as we get closer to the end of the year. We’ll talk about “rules” next week, for example, which has a huge effect on our ability to be happy at anytime of the year – and especially during the holidays.

When you notice how you feel in response to the various issues you wrote down as answers to those two questions, it may even make you realize how your negative emotional responses to the crowds, the parties, and all the other “frustrations” associated with the holidays may be overblown. If you're guilty of this, again, make sure to use transformational vocabulary as one of your Holiday Happiness tools.

Also, one of the common issues for just about everyone during the holidays is getting everything done and dealing with all the expectations.

So, over the next 24 hours, start creating your “Holiday Happiness Plan”. I’ve designed a “Holiday Happiness Planner” – a template, if you will – to help you with that plan and guide you through the next few weeks more smoothly.

I focus on this plan in subsequent parts of this series, and will start implementing the details addressed in your plan to get a bit more specific about what to do to ease the stress of the holidays – emotionally, financially, and healthfully.

Click here to open up a copy of my “Holiday Happiness Planner” template to get started with the process. It’s pretty much self-explanatory to get started, so start building the plan using the template – and begin implementing any of the issues which arise within the next week (like shopping, party, eating, and exercise plans). In Part 2 we’ll begin to address some of specific issues associated with your plan.

For now, for those of us who live in the United States, Thanksgiving is a few days away. It’s a wonderful holiday for Americans.

Why?

Partly because it truly represents a huge component of happiness.

Yes, to BeHappy! we MUST be thankful (in other words, grateful and appreciative) for all we really have in our lives. We must "give thanks" for all the things we sometimes take for granted ... like food, shelter, our friends and families, and so much more.

Sometime, however, it’s hard to feel the gratitude when there’s significant pain in our lives.

So to help us all buffer any pain we may be experiencing right now, I’d like to have you read an article written by my friend, and “scientific” contributor to this site, Lisa Jacobson. Lisa has a Masters degree in Positive Psychology and has written an article – at my request – designed specifically to help all of us make it through the holidays with gratitude and joy rather than frustration and anxiety.

Click here to read the article by Lisa called A Healthy Dose of Kindness and Gratitude Buffers Holiday Blues.

Now, make sure to keep reading so you can continue with the "Holiday Happiness" series or just click here to continue with the rest of the "Holiday Happiness" series. .

BeHappy! ACTIONS TO TAKE UNTIL THE NEXT ISSUE OF THIS NEWSLETTER

Like everything in life, the old saying, “practice makes perfect” also applies to happiness. By using the tools and concepts in the book, BeHappy! - and applying the principles found at BeHappy101.com and in this bi-monthly newsletter - you'll get the coaching and the “practice” you need to lead the happiest possible life.

It takes daily action to get “perfect” at it, though.

So, if you have read previous editions of The BeHappy! Newsletter you know that every issue provides some simple action-oriented exercises for the next two months (until the next edition of the newsletter) which relate to the main subject of this edition of the newsletter to help make happiness a habit.

Just a few minutes of focus every day and you’ll be laying the foundation for the happiest possible life - both for yourself and for those you love.

If you do these things, I can promise you’ll notice a big difference in the quality of your life.

You will BeHappy!

Actions for the next 60 days:

Take these actions over the next few weeks and I am sure you'll have a much happier, joyful, holiday season.

Actions to Take:

There's just one simple action for this "holiday" edition of the newsletter:

Click here to continue with the rest of the "Holiday Happiness" series.

Oh, I guess there may be two actions ...

Make sure to get my "Holiday Happiness Planner" if you need it by clicking here.

And, click here to check out this great tool, too:

So until the next edition of The BeHappy! Newsletter...

Thanks for being a loyal subscriber!

BeHappy! my friends

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