Never Break the Rules!
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Challenging your rules can lead to solutions that you never thought about. It is one of the ways that creative minds establish themselves in greatness. So many times people find that rules are obstacles instead of guidelines. If you think about the great minds of our time you will see that their rule breaking improved the world. Challenging our assumptions can be very positive. You will remember that at one time it was believed the earth was flat, crop circles were made by aliens, and listening to Elvis Presley music led to smoking the Devil’s weed. Einstein challenged scientific “rules” that had existed for years. Copernicus, Newton, Martin Luther King, John Kennedy, Sandra Day O'Connor, and Rosa Parks are just a few more of the people who put the rules aside and changed the world. Jimmy Hendrix challenged the way guitars were played, e.e. cummings changed the rules for writing poetry, and Beethoven broke the rules in writing symphonies with double orchestral fugues, all leading to greatness and new rules.
Next time you find a very challenging situation, stop and ask yourself, "What rules can I/we break or change?” Perhaps it is your "no talk" rule. In your family, maybe you learned that when you are angry you shut up instead of open up. So that’s your “rule”. Maybe it's your "never let them see you sweat" rule. Sure, it makes you look tough, but it may also make you unapproachable. In a relationship, the next time you and your lover are knocking heads, stop and ask each other what you can change instead of doing the same thing you always do.
Pause for a minute and take a look at both the big and small picture. What situations keep you “getting what you always got"? What rule stands behind it? If you consistently feel angry, there is a high probability that you are living by the rule of never expressing your feelings until the top blows off. A new strategy might be to learn real assertiveness (versus aggressiveness). If you are constantly depressed or anxious, you might be living by the rule that you should never ask for what you want, you should never speak your mind, or your role in life is to subordinate yourself to the needs of others. How's that working for you?
If you feel stifled by life you may be living by the rule of: "never color outside the lines". In other words, you are conservative, you are bored (and possibly boring), and to you, life is filled with mediocrity. The underlying rule here is: "don't do anything about it".
If people don't listen to you, your rule may be: "don't rock the boat."If your kids are becoming more and more defiant your rule may be: "I must control everything".If you feel disconnected from God, your rule may be: "I must believe in the God of my church/parents".If you stay in a dead relationship you rule may be: "I must not be alone".
Try it! Challenge your assumptions! Where is your faulty thinking leading you? Why are you holding onto rules that no longer fit your life? So many people feel locked down because they don't stop doing what they've always done. Is it time for a change?
Related articles here at BeHappy101.com:
Eugene D. “Chip” Weiner
The Neighborhood Shrink
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