Have a Little FaithNotes from the Desk of
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In The Principled Life note I also mentioned letting go of some of the values given to us by our parents. Many times, when we are young, we are plugged into some religion which we have great difficulty grasping. We may have problems with the guilt-letting, the high expectations, the apparent hypocrisy of some members of our church or temple, and the dogma of the Bible. We have a tendency to look at events in our life and question the existence of God.
In my practice, I see a lot of people who struggle with this – and it tends to affect their relationships, self-worth, and their ability to deal with the tough times in life.
So where are you with this issue? Where are you with what you call God? Have you given up? Are you confused? Do you have a strong faith? What do you do in the hard times and who or what do you lean on for support?
Human beings are the only species capable of proactively seeking faith. It is evident in almost every culture. If you go to the mountain tops on a distant continent you'll usually find people who have identified a god and give this belief due reverence in their life.
If you have a strong faith, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t – and are struggling with relationships, self-worth, or adversity – you may want to give “faith” a try and maybe a new meaning. And if a “god” is part of that faith, it does not need to be the god of others (including that of your parents). What it needs to be is something in which you can have faith. And if a god is involved, is yours a kind and forgiving god? Or are you afraid that if you establish a relationship with a god, it will be one of condemnation – and never completely being able to stack up?
Let me put it a different way. By the age of 25 we have - almost all of us - been through at least one incredibly difficult situation. Perhaps it was the death of someone very close; perhaps it was a divorce; or the very bitter breakup of a meaningful relationship. Yet, even with this trauma, here we are (most of us) on the other side of the event, living a happy, functional adult life. We move on. We come to learn that things always work out. And they always do! But when we are in the middle of the storm, sometimes all we can do is ”hold on” and wait for the sun to shine. The storm is rough and we wonder if it will ever end. But it always does. If nothing else, perhaps you can build faith in yourself, the universe, or just in the outcome. But having faith that things always work out is the most important part.
So, here’s the point: much of the writing in Notes from the Desk of the Neighborhood Shrink is ultimately about being happy. Perhaps an important part of happiness is our ability to develop resiliency. Many people who report a higher quality of life to me get part of their resiliency from faith.
So, if you are “unhappy” – and nothing seems to work for you, try opening your heart and your mind to your own form of spirituality – whatever it might be. Try it for a month and see how it makes you feel. And if there is a “God” in that spirituality, talk to him or her. Perhaps even ask for something and wait for the answer (you may not like it). You can always go back to getting through life without a religious or spiritual faith. Just try it. There's probably a part of you that really wants to.
Eugene D. “Chip” Weiner
The Neighborhood Shrink
www.neighborhoodshrink.com
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Disclaimer from behappy101.com: The thoughts and opinions expressed by The Neighborhood Shrink (Eugene D. "Chip" Weiner) are not necessarily those of Jimmy DeMesa, M.D., or BeHappy101.com. Jimmy edits these "notes" only for wording and grammar and, therefore, BeHappy101.com is not responsible for the content in these thoughts.
